Queen Boudicca Fights the Romans
Did you watch Queen Boudicca fight the Romans on the History Channel? She looked very nice in a Christian Dior dress. Her arm pits were shaved like all good Iceni tribe women. You could see a slight white trace of underarm deodorant so we know that Queen Boudicca was not as barbaric as Tacitus saidor was she?
You can read about Queen Baudicca at http://members.tripod.com/~ancienthistory/boad.html. The article is by S. Wilson. Please do not copy this article. Mr. Wilson does not want anyone to disregard his copyright. However, the article follows the History Channel or the History Channel follows Mr. Wilson, so you will get the complete story.
Here is what happened in a nutshell:
1. Queen Boudicca lived with her husband King Prasutagus and their two daughters. Nobody seems to know the names of the daughters, but when the king died, he bequeathed to them goods and property.
2. Procurator Decianus, a Roman admin istrator knew that such a bequest could be made only to Nero. He got angry and destroyed the peace that had lasted for some years between King Prasutagus and the Romans.
3. When Queen Boudicca objected to cruel and inhumane treatment by the Romans, Decianus had her beaten in public and had the Roman soldiers rape her daughters so that no one would marry them.
4. Queen Boudicca was upset by this turn of events. Hell hath no fury like a womans scorn. She joined forces with the Trinovantes and created a force much larger than the combined Roman forces in Great Britain. She attacked Camulodunu Poenius Postumus, sort of a resort town for retired Roman officers and their families. She was not interested in taking prisoners.
5. Paulinus who was mopping up on the Island of Mona or Angles ey (after clobbering my ancestors) got news of the attack. He moved ahead of his army on the Icknield Way (I think. The roads are very confusing), telling his legion commanders to take it easy on the 300 mile march as not to be too tired when called up on to fight a tribal army ten times their strength. He ordered Poenius Postumus, the commander of a Roman legion to meet him in the Midlands. Postumus refused. Later he, customarily fell on his own sword for denying his troops the glory of battle. (Note: go to http://www.Romans-in-britain.org.uk/invroads.htm for a map of Roman roads and how they made them.)
6. Meanwhile, the angry queen is raising hell everywhere she goes. She bushwhacks and destroys the Ninth Legion. When Paulinus got to London, riding down Watling Road, he realized he could not defend it. He turned back toward his legends looking for a possible battlefield where an outmanned army could defeat a bunch of angry tribesmen led by a woman. What an insult! A woman leader.
7. Queen Boudicca attacked those that stayed behind in London (despite Paulinus warning for them to leave). She burned the town to the ground. Here is what Tacitus said: Those who were taken captive by the Britons were subjected to every known outrage. The worst most bestial atrocity committed by their captors was the following: They hung up naked the noblest and most distinguished women and then cut off their breasts and sewed them to their mouths, in order to make the victims appear to be eating them. Afterwards they impaled the women on sharp skewers run lengthwise through their entire body.
8. Paulinus found a suitable site for battle, an uphill grade that was forested on the back and sides of the battlefield. He had only about 10,000 men but they were well trained and could handle a frontal attack. They first slaughtered thousands of Queen Boudiccas charging men and women fighters (who were mostly naked and painted blue) using javelins first t hen their short swords. Finally, they formed their famous wedge and drove the rebel army into a wagon train of the families of the Brits. They slaughtered every one in sight. The rebellion went of for some time after the battle but it had little force. Those who returned to their homes found no food because they had not planted their crops. The Romans continually harassed them and put them in slavery. Nero was not happy with Paulinus because he was too harsh. That weakened Paulinus political influence.
So what happened to Procurator Decianus, the Roman administrator, who caused this mess?
Why he ran off to Gaul.
Paulinus was very angry about that.
John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself Taylor Jones, the hack writer.
More info: http://www.tjbooks.com
Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com
Author:: John T Jones, Ph.D.
Keywords:: Decianus, Romans, Paulinus, Queen Boudicca, History Channel, Nero, Iceni, Trinovantes
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